5 hours layover, jerking around, totally exhausted, taking a nap in the bathroom.
Flight to Boston. 1 hour layover.
2 hours flight to Quebec. 2 hours car ride. Finally home.
3 times I took off. 3 times I landed.
The night I got the news I slept about 3 hours, woke up, packed my things and got on the first plane. 3 fucking million won and my school is giving me shit for having a heart.
I'm still jetlagged and exhausted. I cried like a baby on the plane.
It's the first time ever that someone I love more than everything dies. I don't know how to deal with it and, no offence but, all the spiritual stuff doesn't calm me down. I don’t care what Jesus said; I just wanna know where’s my gandma.
She was beautiful in her coffin. They managed to put a subtle smile on her face.
Her hands were so cold. She looked so peaceful, it was almost painful.
All I wanted to do is yell "wake up now! let's go grandma!" That was heartbreaking because I knew she's never ever gonna wake up... she's gone forever.
I won't hug her, kiss her, see her smile ever again. We won't share our deep conversations, she won't make me laugh, hold my hand. We won't meet for lunch, go shopping or just have a beer on her balcony while the train is passing by. My cool grandma. It's all over. And it's really unfair.
The place was packed with people I'd never seen before. Funerals are so morbid. People were crying to see that I'd come all this way to say goodbye.
My brother showed up too - he'd come all the way from Bangkok Thailand. Grandma was a wonderful woman and we just couldn't let her go like that.
I stared at the wooden box the whole time we were at church. How could she be in there? When we walked behind the coffin I was dying inside. But at least I think she's much happier now.
As I was walking away from the tomb, the clouds scattered away for a minute and I ray of light pointed my way. I cried even harder, just because.
Now i'm home with everyone and I want to yell at them. How can things return to normal so quickly? I just want to go back to the graveyard and stare at her tomb forever and ever. I feel so empty. She really was my everything and I love her so much.
