I brought some tea and we started talking. Given their relatively high English level, I chose grownup topics (as opposed to “what did you do this week-end”)
The Korea Times issued two stunning facts concerning Korean society.
1. Alcoholic liver diseases are increasing by an average 7% every year and Korea is ranked fifth in the world for alcohol consumption.
2. Suicide rates in Korea are more than twice as high as that in Canada and the USA.
Shocking.
The housewives had very interesting insights on both realities.
Alcohol first. I’ll discuss suicide in another post.
We read the article together and at the end they looked at me with a smile, saying that this wasn’t surprising at all. They know it’s a big problem in Korea.
Of all the women in that classroom, only Martha said that she enjoys drinking with her husband and three sons… quite frequently. The other ladies looked at each other in a disapproving glance.
As it turns out, alcohol is part of Korean tradition. Men drink a lot because they are under a lot of pressure at work. It is still a patriarchal society, where women take care of children and housework while men bring home food on the table.
Considering the additional pressure of social hierarchy, men struggle really hard at work to get promotions and raises.
That explains why they are totally drunk by 8pm on a Tuesday night. But how come they’re walking on the street, reeling and holding onto their buddies? Why aren’t they home with the wife they married?
“Going home to your wife is another source of stress!” I was once told by a Korean man. “She’s going to talk about irrelevant problems, tell you how much she spent on the kids’ new shoes… and you won’t be able to watch TV because it would disturb the children doing their homework.”
In fact, the housewives told me that in Korea, a wife is not a woman; she’s just a wife. And the definition of a wife is: taking care of children, finances and the house. Marriage is merely a social convention in which both parties know exactly what their role is.
But the sad thing is that most housewives aren’t really happy with that. Actually, a not-so-new trend has recently come into light – women drink alone during the day while there’s nobody home. They become alcoholic and no one notices since the husband comes home so late, usually drunk.
They drink out of boredom and depression.
The first thing Michelle said when I asked her to introduce herself was that she’s really depressed right now. Her son left for college and she’s home alone all day. Her husband works out of town – he leaves the house early and comes home really late.
She now has time to think about her life. All the time and energy she spent on raising her son is now free time she doesn’t know what to do with. All her life everything she did was for somebody else. Now she has to take care of herself, but she doesn’t see the point.
Of course the issue mainly concerns older generations because nowadays, Korean women have jobs and are self-empowering. Nonetheless, it remains a highly patriarchal society and even teenagers are quite control freaks when it comes to their girlfriend.
I still see little girls putting their hand in front of their mouth when they laugh because people used to believe that it is not appropriate for a woman to show her teeth or any expression of joy. Emotions had to be repressed in public.
As for young men, they do drink a lot. I read that 65 500 medical treatments were given to teenagers having alcoholic liver diseases last year. Teenagers!
One of the housewives made everyone burst into laughter when she said that her husband calls his drinking habit “similar to the merry-go-round”!
Indeed, it’s like sitting on those horses that gently go up and down, around and around. It’s relaxing after a big day of cold sweats and mental gymnastics.
But is drinking the only way to release the pressure?! Nop, but it certainly is deeply ingrained in the Korean tradition. Every time a man has a problem, his friends take him out for drinks.
But like the article said, while this may have been ok over the past decades, the world reality now is different and such addiction could damage the nation’s competitiveness and economy.
After all, Korea doesn’t have many natural resources so it highly relies on services and technology. With the whole kibun and nunchi concepts already reducing efficiency in the workplace, alcoholism definitely isn’t helping either.
On the other hand, foreigners here aren’t exactly behaving in a more “responsible” way. And back home I recall my younger days when we would drink a whole lot until the morning came. We’d spend the whole night dancing, philosophising, trying to change the world and laughing about it all.
It was fun. I personally did not try to escape any problems – drinking was just part of the experience. Part of growing up. Of course some people turned it into an addiction while others tried to drown the pain with it.
Last year in France we’d have wine with every meal (except of course breakfast!) A glass or two with cheese. Huuuuum, good memories! :)
So… is it safe to assume that drinking habits positively correlate with countries’ traditions? Apparently weather also has something to do with it since it appears that some Northern countries consume a relatively high amount of alcohol too!
