It's not just a game you're playing anymore. It's not about passing time, letting things come to you and passively waiting to see what's next. You understand that you are in control of it and everything happens for a reason: you. (i don't mean it in an egocentric way... just that we responsible for a whole lot of what happens to us)
The way you walk, the way you talk. The clothes you wear, the face you put on. The words you chose to say, and the things you don't tell. Your smile, your tears. The way you touch them, the way you enter the room.
It's a huge responsibility to be you. You can't screw it up because you'll be mad at yourself. Because of your new found respect for life.
Such a thing happened to me this morning. As the sun gently woke me up, I felt a nice warm ray of light coming through my window and I smiled.
I don't know why, but I thought of this William Wordsworth poem I read for the first time back in college, "I wandered lonely as a cloud" Even today I can't say why it gives me strong emotions!
We don't know why we're here. But all I know is that I really love it here.
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed---and gazed---but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
On a related topic, there's a beautiful post about rain on a pal's blog, you should definitely check it out!
